whit537
Chad Whitacre
Apropos #pycon, I like confronting people directly first. Going to the authorities first or to Twitter first doesn't seem right to me.
whit537
Chad Whitacre
@steveklabnik Indeed, and in my experience both women and men are capable of confronting me directly. :)
@steveklabnik Indeed, and in my experience both women and men are capable of confronting me directly. :)
steveklabnik
Steve Klabnik
@whit537 some are, but your primary socialization is confrontation, a woman's is the opposite
@whit537 some are, but your primary socialization is confrontation, a woman's is the opposite
whit537
Chad Whitacre
@steveklabnik "a woman's" Is that generalization helpful? Strikes me as a stereotype, and not true in my experience.
@steveklabnik "a woman's" Is that generalization helpful? Strikes me as a stereotype, and not true in my experience.
whit537
Chad Whitacre
@steveklabnik Sorry, saying "confrontation" was distracting. The important word was "direct."
@steveklabnik Sorry, saying "confrontation" was distracting. The important word was "direct."
steveklabnik
Steve Klabnik
@whit537 I guess what I'm saying is that you're not wrong, just that it doesn't really apply
@whit537 I guess what I'm saying is that you're not wrong, just that it doesn't really apply
anarchival
anarchival
@whit537 Don't get me wrong, my first reaction (as a woman) is always direct confrontation. Sometimes, by putting their head in a wall.
@whit537 Don't get me wrong, my first reaction (as a woman) is always direct confrontation. Sometimes, by putting their head in a wall.
anarchival
anarchival
@whit537 BUT- let's assume for a moment a woman is actually being tested by a predator and that woman isn't ready to defend herself.
@whit537 BUT- let's assume for a moment a woman is actually being tested by a predator and that woman isn't ready to defend herself.
anarchival
anarchival
@whit537 Why is it so wrong for her to ask for help from someone with authority to mediate the situation?
@whit537 Why is it so wrong for her to ask for help from someone with authority to mediate the situation?
whitmo
whitmo
@anarchival @whit537 I'm guessing *in this case* that most of this could have been avoided by a simple direct conversation.
@anarchival @whit537 I'm guessing *in this case* that most of this could have been avoided by a simple direct conversation.
anarchival
anarchival
@whitmo @whit537 You're giving men way too much credit for dealing with these situations maturely, in my experience.
@whitmo @whit537 You're giving men way too much credit for dealing with these situations maturely, in my experience.
whitmo
whitmo
@anarchival true, not everyone can stomach direct confrontation. but sometimes it's a more powerful/effective way to communicate.
@anarchival true, not everyone can stomach direct confrontation. but sometimes it's a more powerful/effective way to communicate.
anarchival
anarchival
@whitmo Sure, and I think it's in everyone's best interests if we all learn how to do direct confrontation better. The problem is...
@whitmo Sure, and I think it's in everyone's best interests if we all learn how to do direct confrontation better. The problem is...
anarchival
anarchival
@whitmo When women do direct confrontation, we get punished for it. Women are supposed to be tolerant and nice and accommodating, always.
@whitmo When women do direct confrontation, we get punished for it. Women are supposed to be tolerant and nice and accommodating, always.
anarchival
anarchival
@whitmo You guys can't have it both ways. You've either got to learn to take our criticism like a man or stop demanding we throw the punch.
@whitmo You guys can't have it both ways. You've either got to learn to take our criticism like a man or stop demanding we throw the punch.
whitmo
whitmo
@anarchival from a human to human perspective, talking face to face is the most empathetically powerful way to resolve differences.
@anarchival from a human to human perspective, talking face to face is the most empathetically powerful way to resolve differences.
anarchival
anarchival
@whitmo It's also the most intimidating when the guy has a hundred pounds on you and you're already disagreeing.
@whitmo It's also the most intimidating when the guy has a hundred pounds on you and you're already disagreeing.
anarchival
anarchival
@whitmo Frankly, I don't move social interactions from virtual to physical unless they've already proven they belong in my circle of trust.
@whitmo Frankly, I don't move social interactions from virtual to physical unless they've already proven they belong in my circle of trust.
anarchival
anarchival
@whitmo ...or I'm okay with the situation getting even more confrontational. Some people, I'd like the opportunity to stand my ground.
@whitmo ...or I'm okay with the situation getting even more confrontational. Some people, I'd like the opportunity to stand my ground.
anarchival
anarchival
@whitmo It's not just about "women are conditioned not to be confrontational." It's also that women can't win through confrontation, either.
@whitmo It's not just about "women are conditioned not to be confrontational." It's also that women can't win through confrontation, either.
anarchival
anarchival
@whitmo @whit537 But if it were me, I probably would have turned and asked them to please be quiet during the presentation so I could hear.
@whitmo @whit537 But if it were me, I probably would have turned and asked them to please be quiet during the presentation so I could hear.
anarchival
anarchival
@whit537 #donglegate escalated too far when she did direct confrontation over Twitter. If she'd gone to the con organizers, maybe different.
@whit537 #donglegate escalated too far when she did direct confrontation over Twitter. If she'd gone to the con organizers, maybe different.