ftrain
Paul Ford
i'm alone in an enormous office in the dark drinking and iterating over parsed XML which reminds me of my life from age 20 through today
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain Inside the mailbox you find a flashlight, a small fish, and an overdue subscription to Vanity Fair.
@ftrain Inside the mailbox you find a flashlight, a small fish, and an overdue subscription to Vanity Fair.
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain The fish is slippery. Gloves might help. As you drop the fish, a pair of Prada loafers drops from its mouth. You can hear whistling.
@ftrain The fish is slippery. Gloves might help. As you drop the fish, a pair of Prada loafers drops from its mouth. You can hear whistling.
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain The loafers are tight, but look awesome. A heavy door leads inside a large glass building. Tina Brown is here, eating her own young.
@ftrain The loafers are tight, but look awesome. A heavy door leads inside a large glass building. Tina Brown is here, eating her own young.
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain Tina spits on you for deigning to try to speak at her. The spittle helps the loafers fit better. Gore Vidal's soul is on the ground.
@ftrain Tina spits on you for deigning to try to speak at her. The spittle helps the loafers fit better. Gore Vidal's soul is on the ground.
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain You have obtained "The Shroud of Elitism," its darkness cools you substantially in the oppressive heat. There is a lost iPhone here.
@ftrain You have obtained "The Shroud of Elitism," its darkness cools you substantially in the oppressive heat. There is a lost iPhone here.
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain You have obtained "The Pulitzer Mustache of Mixed Metaphors." The cab continues north. There is a bridge here. A path leads East.
@ftrain You have obtained "The Pulitzer Mustache of Mixed Metaphors." The cab continues north. There is a bridge here. A path leads East.
ftrain
Paul Ford
@thelancearthur give pulitzer to novelist. tell cabbie take bridge. tell cabbie take bridge. tell cabbie take bridge. sigh. take path.
@thelancearthur give pulitzer to novelist. tell cabbie take bridge. tell cabbie take bridge. tell cabbie take bridge. sigh. take path.
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain The path continues East in a twisting, dreamlike fashion, like a Haruki Murakami novel. There is a troll here. He has a Big Gulp.
@ftrain The path continues East in a twisting, dreamlike fashion, like a Haruki Murakami novel. There is a troll here. He has a Big Gulp.
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain You swap "Spat-upon Prada loafers" for "Awkward Homoerotic Observations Concerning Every Male Olympic Athlete." Path goes E, W, S.
@ftrain You swap "Spat-upon Prada loafers" for "Awkward Homoerotic Observations Concerning Every Male Olympic Athlete." Path goes E, W, S.
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain You enter a series of tunnels, none of which go to LaGuardia. There's a broken MetroCard machine making a noise like Drake weeping.
@ftrain You enter a series of tunnels, none of which go to LaGuardia. There's a broken MetroCard machine making a noise like Drake weeping.
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain An empty subway train arrives. A lit sign above you reads "BOB DYLAN SAID THIS I PROMISE" The mayor is here, extracting breast milk.
@ftrain An empty subway train arrives. A lit sign above you reads "BOB DYLAN SAID THIS I PROMISE" The mayor is here, extracting breast milk.
ftrain
Paul Ford
@thelancearthur say "too soon." ask bloomberg about businessweek strategy. duck. go train. get seat. give seat to pregnant woman.
@thelancearthur say "too soon." ask bloomberg about businessweek strategy. duck. go train. get seat. give seat to pregnant woman.
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain You have Soiled Seat, Duck. You swap Soiled Seat for Pregnant Woman. Gloves would help. There is an "Occupy Duck" here. Train goes E
@ftrain You have Soiled Seat, Duck. You swap Soiled Seat for Pregnant Woman. Gloves would help. There is an "Occupy Duck" here. Train goes E
ftrain
Paul Ford
@thelancearthur drop pregnant woman. put occupy duck in elitism shroud. hide erection. east.
@thelancearthur drop pregnant woman. put occupy duck in elitism shroud. hide erection. east.
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain You have Elite Duck Shroud of Smugness, Erection. You arrive at an unfamiliar station. Martin Scorsese's erotic love of film is here
@ftrain You have Elite Duck Shroud of Smugness, Erection. You arrive at an unfamiliar station. Martin Scorsese's erotic love of film is here
ftrain
Paul Ford
@thelancearthur whirl in cape. drop gangs of new york in trash. ask siri about stallions. up.
@thelancearthur whirl in cape. drop gangs of new york in trash. ask siri about stallions. up.
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain You are in a city of glass spires smelling like chewing gum & money. Siri says "I don't know about scallions." Hotdog water is here.
@ftrain You are in a city of glass spires smelling like chewing gum & money. Siri says "I don't know about scallions." Hotdog water is here.
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain You have: Erection. A sodden Duck Shroud of Smugness is here. Paths lead D, E, randomly through an expensive elevated art-park thing
@ftrain You have: Erection. A sodden Duck Shroud of Smugness is here. Paths lead D, E, randomly through an expensive elevated art-park thing
ftrain
Paul Ford
@thelancearthur feel calm in urban oasis. pick up human feces and throw it at approaching angry drunk. descend to betaworks.
@thelancearthur feel calm in urban oasis. pick up human feces and throw it at approaching angry drunk. descend to betaworks.
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain You give Feces to Angry Drunk. Angry Drunk gives you $450 million in Bad Stocks. You descend to Betaworks. A Pinterest Clone is here
@ftrain You give Feces to Angry Drunk. Angry Drunk gives you $450 million in Bad Stocks. You descend to Betaworks. A Pinterest Clone is here
ftrain
Paul Ford
@thelancearthur ask pinterest clone about valuation. relaunch digg without archives. wave to @tolar.
@thelancearthur ask pinterest clone about valuation. relaunch digg without archives. wave to @tolar.
tolar
robert tolar haining
@ftrain @thelancearthur archives are coming! Sign up at digg.com/archive to be notified when they're up. We only had 6 weeks!
@ftrain @thelancearthur archives are coming! Sign up at digg.com/archive to be notified when they're up. We only had 6 weeks!
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain Digg squanders lead as online marketer's SEO tool, becomes Jews for Jesus dating site. Clone gives you Justin Timberlake's number.
@ftrain Digg squanders lead as online marketer's SEO tool, becomes Jews for Jesus dating site. Clone gives you Justin Timberlake's number.
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain You have Groupon, Erection. The Groupon reads "Buy one box of pre-IPO stock options, sell for 10¢ on the dollar." Gloves are here.
@ftrain You have Groupon, Erection. The Groupon reads "Buy one box of pre-IPO stock options, sell for 10¢ on the dollar." Gloves are here.
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain You now LIKE Gloves. Gloves are now your FRIEND. You are FOLLOWING Gloves. Gloves are in your CIRCLE. Gloves are on the FRONT PAGE.
@ftrain You now LIKE Gloves. Gloves are now your FRIEND. You are FOLLOWING Gloves. Gloves are in your CIRCLE. Gloves are on the FRONT PAGE.
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain You are not following GLOVES. You have: Erection. A small egg is here. It tells you "You may have just won Gloves! Click this link!"
@ftrain You are not following GLOVES. You have: Erection. A small egg is here. It tells you "You may have just won Gloves! Click this link!"
ftrain
Paul Ford
@thelancearthur post erection to @readability api. put egg in fire. become khaleesi.
@thelancearthur post erection to @readability api. put egg in fire. become khaleesi.
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain You gave Erection to @readability. A security or technical issue arises, violating ToS. Erection disappears. A Dead Khal is here.
@ftrain You gave Erection to @readability. A security or technical issue arises, violating ToS. Erection disappears. A Dead Khal is here.
thelancearthur
Lance Arthur
@ftrain You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike. Vin Diesel is here.
@ftrain You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike. Vin Diesel is here.
bizweekgraphics
bizweekgraphics
@ftrain stragey. a) harvest nickels from mayor's couch b) funds our sorting of complaint letters re: the page #s old people can't locate
@ftrain stragey. a) harvest nickels from mayor's couch b) funds our sorting of complaint letters re: the page #s old people can't locate
